Check out this article "What is a Neocon Anyway?" over at the blog The Gay Republican. The author gives a fairly clear and succinct characterization of neo-conservatism and paleo-conservatism from a neocon point of view. Of course, this means that the article is slanted towards favoring a neocon perspective, but I nonetheless recommend reading it just to see this view from an insider perspective. By seeing it in this way, you can get a sense of the motivations guiding this view and why it leads it proponents to favor the policy decisions they often do.
Make sure you check out the FAQ on his sidebar - which, I think, is a fairly adequate reply to those who would claim that someone who is both gay and a republican must be self-hating (like this post here).
Also, check out this post for a brief review of The Gay Republican blog.